Wednesday, October 6, 2010

why should I?

for a long time, i always felt that my passion for kpop had to be suppressed, had to be hidden. because i thought that if it would be embarrassing for me to be like all the "other crazy fangirls" out there, drooling over their celebrity crushes, squealing when they see their pictures, and hyperventilating when reading some rumor about them.

but you know what, why should i be ashamed of what i really feel? why should i fit myself into the mold of liking western music, or indie pop just so i can look cool in front of people? why should i be afraid to sing korean in front of people, even though i don't know the language?

i can't find a logical answer for any of those questions.

because kpop is stupid? trust me, any music can be "stupid". because you will be seen as a crazy obsessive teen? what's wrong with that, most of us are anyway! whether we want to show it or not. because these asian stars are too unsophisticated? well, sometimes some good clean fun never hurts, why stop yourself from having fun just for your reputations sake?

to tell you the truth, the phenomenon that gets people hooked on kpop is the culture of the asian music industry itself! where idols are not just people you see on stage for their music, but as people you can relate to, people you can laugh at, people like you. the whole fanservice thing helps too. it kinda puts them on the same level of us, seeing idols do something the fans wanted them to do, is just really cool, you know?

i do admit, the kpop industry does have its fair share of shortcomings and, lets face it, it is one of the most superficial industries in the world! but then again, every kind of music from any part of the world would definitely not be perfect too...

so it really infuriates me when people roll their eyes at me when i talk about kpop, why should they look down on this kind or music, and why should this genre of music be any less creditable than western pop?

face it, most teens [i know] look down on kpop, because they look down on their own race, deep down they feel that being asian immediately makes you susceptible to liking kpop and thus being seen as stupid, that's why people try so hard to look cool by playing music from some obscure canadian band or something.

in not hating on other types of music, some people just genuinely dislike kpop for its music, but there are DEFINITELY people who dislike it because of the people singing it.

and that, i feel, is the most phony thing you could do.
i am now announcing this blog to be officially reopened!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

i can never be one of those people who post a gazillion photos of themselves on the internet, well let's not talk about a gazillion, i can't even post a few! i don't know why, but i just find it... weird... i mean, to see yourself, and the fact that others can see you too, it's just weird to me. is this some symptom of self-esteem issues or what? i just can't seem to do it...!

Thursday, June 10, 2010


you know when you read something you wrote previously, be it a essay for school, your old diary, a letter to santa. you get a glimpse into YOURSELF in that moment. and the way you think may be the complete opposite of what you thought then, yet again, it maybe exactly the same. but beyond that, you discover things you never knew about yourself too perhaps. when you're writing, you get too engrossed, too INTO what you're actually writing, that you forget what you're SAYING. sorta like playing the piano, when you actually play you don't really pick up a lot of the things others are hearing.only when you play back a recording of your music do you realise "oh, i did THAT??".

in a few years time, when i read all this again, i would probab;y be like, "woow, how could i think that???" or maybe even "woow, i knew that??? and THAT age??".

who knows? i would probably think this is the dumbest shit ever!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

"take it up for me then take it down slow"

once again, i have been thrown off my feet by realizing something i should have realized some time ago. something that people often say to not believe. and i as a self-centered person, chose not to. what is this "belief" that i have been going on about? its no belief at all, its a fact, the fact. the fact that there are billions of people out there who feel the same way as you do, and basically, you're nothing special. i'm just any old kid, writing about being insignificant, complaining, whining, emo-ing etc. etc. maybe i should try to set myself apart from them. do something worth while. but some how i just can't bring myself to do that. am i weird? or crazy? or lazy? or just being dramatic? probably all four right? its alright, i've come to accept that that is just what i am like as a person, be it extremely common or not. yes, i have come to accept that fact, within the time span of 5 minutes. weird, but as i said earlier, that's who i am.

Friday, May 7, 2010

only when life overtakes you.

are there times in people's lives where they feel that they're just spinning out of control? when everything you thought was easy turned out not to be? when things just really throw you off? well this is one of those times. and it kinda sucks.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

phantom of the freaking system!

people say that you love something all the more when you don't have it. and i have to say, i couldn't agree more. i know this is perry and that this is NOTHING compared to what millions of other kids in the world have to do. but let me tell you this, exams are killer. KILLER! when i think about exams, i literally think about the scene in the Phantom of the Opera (2004 or something) where gerard bulter screams "damn you salazaaaaar!!". yes, with all the back ground music too. i bet most people feel this way though. wouldn't anybody rather be watching their favourite k -drama than having to "study like a mad dogz"(not my quote)!

anyway, today i was talking/arguing with someone about the whole system of education here in the world's most [artificially] perfect place, Singapore! i mean what is with this whole express, normal, normal technical thing?? is it really so bad that some students just are absolutely unable to cope that the have to be in a different "level" from others? and are they really so out of control that a teacher has a right to say "don't make me treat you the way i treat my NT classes!" which basically makes you think that NT classes are jut a wild animals right? i mean, yes, they are undoubtedly more trouble making than express students, but if anything were to be blamed, i think that the fact that they were LABELED as bad students and the fact that they were put in classes that are "inferior" and that they know other people do look down on them, and no matter what, whether subconsciously or not, people or at least Singaporeans, are going to think "oh NA? its okay they are like that." that is probably the worst, when people even judge your character and personality. YOU. just from what stream you're from. if there wasn't such a system in place, i think those bad students might have been able to change, because you are affected by the people p and things happening around you right? if they went to a good conducive environment to study, i think it would be hard not for them to NOT want to do well. if you ask me what i want to go for, it would be JC. i want a fast track out of this prison.

what gives eh? worst thing is, sometimes even i don't know what to think. great.